60 Thanksgiving Conversation Starters for Every Table

Good Thanksgiving conversation starters are specific, easy to answer in a minute and lead to a story instead of a yes or no. Here are 60, sorted by who's at the table, from the kids' table to grandparents, plus simple ways to use them and what to say when the conversation turns tense.

The short version

• Pick 8 to 10 questions that fit your table, not all 60.
• Put them where people will find them: on place cards, under plates or in a jar that goes around with dessert.
• Two rules make it work: anyone can pass, and whoever reads the question answers last.
• Start after the first helpings, not while people are hungry or watching the carving.
• Keep one line ready for tense moments: "Let's save that for after pie. New question!"
• Prefer a phone? Our Thanksgiving would you rather questions work for every age and need no prep.

Easy questions for the whole table

These work for any age and any mix of people.

1. What's one dish on this table you'd defend, and which one could you skip?
2. What's the best thing that happened to you this fall?
3. What's a Thanksgiving tradition from your family that other families might find strange?
4. If you could add one new dish to this meal every year, what would it be?
5. What's the best meal you've had this year that wasn't at home?
6. What's something you learned this year that you didn't expect to?
7. What's a small thing that made a regular week better lately?
8. Which holiday food would you happily eat in July?
9. What's a skill someone at this table has that you'd like to borrow?
10. What's the funniest thing that's happened at a holiday meal you've been to?
11. If this meal had a theme song, what would it be?
12. What's one thing you're looking forward to before the year ends?

Thanksgiving questions for kids

Kids answer best when the question is short and easy to picture.

1. If you could invent a new Thanksgiving food, what would it taste like?
2. Would you rather have pie for breakfast or pancakes for dinner?
3. What's the best part of today so far?
4. If our turkey could talk, what would it say?
5. Who's someone who helped you this week?
6. What's the coolest thing you learned in school this month?
7. If any animal could join us at the table, which one would you invite?
8. What's your favorite thing to do with your cousins or friends?
9. If you were in charge of dinner, what would you make?
10. What's something you can do now that you couldn't do last Thanksgiving?

Give the youngest child the first question and an older cousin the job of reading the rest. Kids take a question more seriously when another kid asks it. For the rest of the kids' table, from bingo to crafts, see our Thanksgiving activities for kids.

Questions for teens who'd rather be anywhere else

Skip "How's school?" Teens answer opinions faster than feelings, and they open up when they're the expert.

1. What's a song everyone at this table should hear?
2. What's a skill you taught yourself this year?
3. If you could plan the Thanksgiving menu with zero rules, what's on it?
4. What's something adults get wrong about people your age?
5. What's the best advice you've gotten that you actually used?
6. If you could live in any city for a year, where would you go?
7. What's something you're good at that most people here don't know about?
8. Which relative would you want on your team for trivia, and why?

When a teen answers, listen and ask one follow-up. Resist the urge to correct, compare or turn it into a lesson.

Questions to ask grandparents and older relatives

These often bring out the best stories of the night. Ask early, before people get sleepy, and give them time.

1. What did Thanksgiving look like when you were a kid?
2. What's a dish from your childhood that nobody makes anymore?
3. What was your first job, and what did you spend your first paycheck on?
4. Where did you live when you were my age?
5. What's a holiday you remember especially well, and why?
6. What did your family do for fun on a long winter evening?
7. Who taught you to cook, or who did the cooking in your house?
8. What's the best advice your parents gave you?
9. What's something that's changed for the better since you were young?
10. What's a family story you want the kids to remember?

The follow-up is where the story is. Keep these ready: "What happened next?" "How old were you?" "Who was with you?" If you want to keep a story, ask first and record a voice memo.

Thankful questions that don't feel cheesy

"What are you thankful for?" puts people on the spot, and most answer "family and health" to get it over with. Smaller questions get more honest answers. Asking kids? Our gratitude activities for kids have prompts sized for ages 2 to 12.

1. Who made this year easier for you, and do they know it?
2. What's a small thing you're glad exists?
3. What's something you have now that you were hoping for a year ago?
4. Who taught you something useful this year?
5. What's a place you're grateful you got to go?
6. What's a hard thing from this year that turned out OK?
7. What's an ordinary routine you'd miss if it disappeared?
8. Who at this table would you call if your car broke down?
9. What's a kindness from a stranger you still remember?
10. What's something from your childhood you appreciate more now?

Funny Thanksgiving table topics

Debates where nothing is at stake keep a table loud and friendly.

1. Rank the sides on this table, best to worst.
2. Cranberry sauce from the can or homemade?
3. Pumpkin pie or apple pie? Defend it in one sentence.
4. What goes on the perfect leftover sandwich, from the bottom slice up?
5. Is stuffing still stuffing if it never went inside the turkey?
6. Who at this table is most likely to fall asleep before dessert?
7. What's the hardest job in the Thanksgiving kitchen?
8. If you had your own parade balloon, what would it be?
9. What's the most overrated Thanksgiving food?
10. Would you rather do all the dishes or never get leftovers again?

Number 6 works as a game too. Our Thanksgiving Most Likely To questions have dozens more, and everyone answers at once by pointing on three.

How to use Thanksgiving conversation starters without it feeling forced

Hide the questions inside something people already do, and nobody feels quizzed. The best moments to ask are about ten minutes into the meal, when every plate is full, and again with dessert.

Place cards with a question

Write each guest's name on the front of a folded card and a question inside. Once plates are full, say: "Everyone has a question inside their card. Who wants to go first?" Short on time? Print our Get to Know You cards and slip one inside each.

A question jar for dessert

Cut 20 questions into slips and fold them into a jar. Pass it with the pie. Each person draws one, reads it out loud and picks who answers.

One phone in the middle

Open Get to Know You questions and choose Memories or Light & fun. Pass the phone after every card so a different person reads each time.

Two truths and a lie

Each person shares three short stories from their life, and the table guesses which one is made up. The best lie sounds a little boring. Our two truths and a lie ideas include a list for family gatherings.

How to change the subject when the conversation gets tense

You can't control every topic, but you can make it easy to move on.

• Set the tone early. Before the meal, the host can say lightly: "One house rule today: no politics at the table. After pie, you're on your own."
• Use a bridge, not a lecture. Say: "OK, I'm calling a new question. Everyone rank the pies." Or: "Let's save that one for the walk. Grandpa, what did Thanksgiving look like when you were a kid?"
• Turn to a game. A round of Thanksgiving trivia on one phone puts everyone's attention on the same thing, especially with mixed ages on each team. Our guide to things to do after Thanksgiving dinner has a simple timeline and more games for the rest of the evening.
• Seat with care. Put two people who tend to argue at the same end of the table, each next to someone calm, not directly across from each other.
• Know what to skip: comments about what or how much anyone is eating, and questions about jobs, grades or big life plans. If someone wants to share news, they will.

If one person takes over every answer, give the next question to someone specific: "Maya, you go first on this one." If nobody talks, answer the question yourself, briefly, then hand it to the friendliest person at the table.

FAQ

What should you not talk about at Thanksgiving dinner?

Politics, religious debates and money are the usual topics to skip. Personal news, like a job search or a health update, is fine only if the person brings it up first.

How do you get a quiet family to talk at dinner?

Ask questions that need a story, not a yes or no, and answer one yourself first. Memory questions for older relatives usually get things going.

What are good Thanksgiving questions for a big group?

Questions everyone can answer at once, like "Pumpkin or apple?" or a Most Likely To card where people point. Save story questions for smaller clusters at each end of the table.

How many conversation starters should I prepare?

Eight to ten for one meal. You'll probably use four or five, and the rest are backups.

Do these questions work for Friendsgiving?

Yes. With friends, lean on the funny and thankful lists, and borrow a few from the teens list, which suit anyone who's tired of small talk. Hosting it yourself? Our Friendsgiving ideas cover the potluck, the timeline and the games.

How do you start a conversation with a relative you barely know?

Start with something in front of you, like a dish they brought: "How did you learn to make this?" Ask one follow-up before you share anything about yourself.

Pick a handful tonight, write them on cards and let people pass when they want. For a table that likes something to hold, print our Thanksgiving would you rather cards and save the Gratitude ones for dessert.